Bad Knitting Mojo

So as Krystal (that hobag) pointed out in her comment to my last post, I've had a bit of bad luck with my knitting lately. The shawl that never even made it to the blog was struck first. "Why would she stop with just four rows left to knit on the edging?" You may be saying to yourself (as if anyone but Krystal and Dylan and my mom read this blog lol). Well, I stopped because I had to. I ran out of yarn. Yes, I have to buy a whole new ball... a whole 220 yard ball... for four rows. *has the urge to impale herself on her needles* I'll just make a scarf or something out of it.

And then this morning I pick up the mystery project (so far un-named because I wasn't sure I liked it and was going to keep it) and work on it while waiting to see Dylan off to work. Somehow, I don't know how (it could have been that I was ogling Elvira Kurt) I missed a yarnover or something. But now the pretty mesh is a jumble of messed up stitches. It will probably be going to the frog pond.

I think the knitting gods have been angered by me starting a new novel. Can't knit if I'm writing. I think I need another pair of arms. lol

Determination and Lyrics of the Day

So I've decided that I'm not going to quit writing. I can't. I forgot that I've got something to prove here. I need to prove to all of those people who used to tell me I was over imaginative, that I'd never be anything, that I can do this. I don't need their small town life, barefoot and raising babies. (I'd rather do it here in the city *wink*) I wanted to quit because I got scared. But that's what I've done my whole life. Quit, ran when things got scary. Bad stuff is going to happen to Aine. She's going to hurt. Because if she didn't, if nothing bad happened, it would be a boring story and not realistic in the slightest. Real life isn't all happy bunnies. I should know that. No one ever goes through life and never gets hurt. We are all scarred. We have all hurt in one way or another.

This song is inspiring me this morning. I can kind of "read" myself through it. But only a little. I think the powerful music these lyrics are set to is the biggest influence here.

"Away from me" Evanescence

I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll

I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds

But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to

Lost all faith in the things I have achieved

And I



[CHORUS:]

I've woken now to find myself

In the shadows of all I have created

I'm longing to be lost in you

(away from this place I have made)

Won't you take me away from me



Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins

I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed

I can't go on like this

I loathe all I've become



[Chorus]

I've woken now to find myself

In the shadows of all I have created

I'm longing to be lost in you

(Away from this place I have made)

Won't you take me away from me



Lost in a dying world I reach for something more

I have grown so weary of this lie I live



[Chorus]

I've woken now to find myself

In the shadows of all I have created

I'm longing to be lost in you



I...

I've woken now to find myself

I'm lost in the shadows of my own

I'm longing to be lost in you

Away from me

Song List...

Here's what I've been writing to lately:

Fight/Action/Torture Scenes or any Scene where I need Aine to be particularly violent or dominant:

• Freak on a Leash- Korn
• Pain- Three Days Grace
• Head Like a Hole- Nine Inch Nails
• Crawling in the Dark- Hoobastank
• Maneater- Nelly Furtado (This one is kinda Aine's theme song!)
• Voodoo- Godsmack
• Miss Murder- AFI
  

Angsty/Sad Scenes or any scene dealing directly with Siobhan:

• Pain- Three Days Grace
• Snow White Queen- Evanescence
• Gunnin- Hedley
• Black Black Heart- David Usher
• Comin Home- City and Colour
• Love Like Winter- AFI
• Call Me When You're Sober- Evanescence
• Bitter Pill- Clam Dandy
  

Erotic/Love Scenes:

• Oh My God- Pink
• Bella Luna- Jason Mraz
• More Than Anything- Hanson
• My Love- Justin Timberlake

Misc. Songs:

• Lips of an Angel- Hinder
• Lying is the most fun...- Panic at the Disco
• I Refuse- Aaliyah
• Red Flag- Billy Talent
  

Phew....

So while I was browsing around on the internet waiting for Krystal to get online, you know, NOT writing... grrrr... I found a list of LESBIAN fantasy novels. LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!! *excited squeal* I was beginning to be afraid I was the only one writing this stuff. So I can relax. I mean, the market for that type of book is still limited, but not as limited as I thought, you know? Of course, the library out here doesn't have a single one of them, which sucks. There were quite a few I was interested in. Especially this series called "Tales of Emoria". The main character is a tortured soul, kind of like the main character of my book. It would have been interesting to read that author's take on the whole "broody lesbian" angle. Oh well. So I've been stuck on the same scene for days in my book. And what I've been able to write is so good I can't bring myself to take the scene out. So I don't know what to do. I can't move forward and I can't move back either. GRRRR!!! STUPID WRITERS BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!