Survey Thingy....

1. Yourself: Depressed
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/*fiance(e): Sweet but mopey
3. Your hair: Tangled and in dire danger of being whacked off
4. Your mother: Too far away
5. Your father: Jerk at times but I miss him
6. Your favorite item: My yarn
7. Your dream last night: I'm not puttin that on here! *blushes*
8. Your favorite drink: Anything alcoholic at the moment
9. Your dream car: A bus pass...
10. The room you are in: Our bedroom/studio apartment
11. Your ex: Uh... Probably Illinios/Indiana somewhere getting high partying her ass off
12. Your fear: No money, no food
13. What you want to be in 10 years? Raising two wonderful kids in a house that Dylan and I bought together
14. Who you hung out with last night? Dylan I guess
15. What You're Not? Okay... *starts singing that song by My Chemical Romance*
16. Muffins: Chocolate chip peanut butter
17. One of your wish list items: Money to get the freak outta here
18. Time: 9:25 PM
19. The last thing you did: Hugged Dylan
20. What you are wearing: Jeans, a red tshirt, and the sweatshirt Tammy and Dawn got me for Xmas
21. Your favorite weather: Fall, sunny days, any weather that isn't cold/winter
22. Your favorite book: Anything Laurell K Hamilton or Kim Harrison
23. The last thing you ate: PB&J and an oatmeal cookie
24. Your life: *scoff* Yeah right... entirely too much suckage going on and not enough fun
25. Your mood: Sad/Depressed
26. Your best friend: Dylan and Krystal
27. What are you thinking about right now? How messed up life is
28. Your car: What car? Oh, you mean the bus that I take when I can afford it/have the tickets to ride it?
29. What are you doing at the moment? Typing
30. Your summer: Family disfunction. Nuff said.
31. Your relationship status: Happily married. Not always PEACEFULLY married, but happily so.
32. What is on your TV? A wedding photo, an alarm clock, one of the garters from the wedding, and the little clay wedding angels Mom got us for a wedding present
33. What is the weather like? Freaking freezing
34. When is the last time you laughed? Um... MAYBE this morning. Maybe. If not this morning then last night
35. Who did you steal this from? Melissa (an awesome blogger who I know nothing about aside that she's a member of craftster ;) )

I'm done...

I'm not writing anymore. I've taken down my writing blog, I'm putting away the disk I had my novel saved to. It's a stupid thing, a total waste of time. No one would ever buy a lesbian novel, so I quit. I'm done.

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*groan*

What do you get for Christmas if you spend it with Tammy and Alicia? A hangover... More about all the Christmas goodies when I'm not so... ugh....

Song List II

Here's the updated list of what I'm writing to this month. Once a month I get rid of the songs I'm writing to (unless I really like them or they work so well I can't bear to part with them) and get new ones. This month's songs are:

Depressing scenes, Scenes where I need Aine to go all "broody dyke" lol:

• "Away from Me", "I Must Be Dreaming", "Fields of Innocence"- Evanescence
• "Suicide"-Johnette Napolitano
• "Imagine"- A Perfect Circle
• "Gunnin"- Hedley
• "Monochrome"- Helmet
• "Every Day is Exactly the Same"- Nine Inch Nails
• "Pain"- Three Days Grace
• "Effigy"- The SmashUp
  

Angry scenes, Fight scenes

• "Your Nightmare"- Eighteen Visions
• "You Oughta Know"- Alanis Morisette
• "This Calling"- All that Remains
• "Suffocating Under Words of Sorrow"- Bullet for My Valentine
• "Shithole Theme"- Charlie Clouser (This one is from the Saw III soundtrack. I wrote chapter seven entirely while listening to this one and the third song from the depressed list. It's instrumental and the tension I could feel in the song was perfect for the scene. I wish I could attach music to each scene of my book! lol)
• "Deify" and "Guarded"- Disturbed
• "Vampires" and "Whatever"- Godsmack
• "Crawling in the Dark"- Hoobastank
• "Killer Inside"- Hydrovibe feat. Shawnee Smith
• "Freak on a Leash"- Korn
• "Walk with me in Hell"- Lamb of God
• "Shed"- Meshugga
• "Eyes of the Insane"- Slayer
• "Mudshovel"- Staind
• "No Submission"- Static X

Everything else

• "Say it Right"- Nelly Furtado
• "Bella Luna"- Jason Mraz
• "Go Away"- Jakalope
• "Snow White Queen" and "Sweet Sacrifice"- Evanescence

I can tell that the tone of my book has changed, that Aine is depressed. The angry and depressed lists are longer than anything else.

Lyrics of the Day

This is one of the songs I'm writing to. I'll be posting an updated list of those later. I just realized how dependent on music I am. I listen to music almost all day. I'd lose my mind if I went deaf!

Evanescence- "Sweet Sacrifice"

It's true, we're all a little insane
but its so clear
now that I'm unchained

fear is only in our minds
taking over all the time
fear is only in our minds but its taking over all the time

you poor sweet innocent thing
dry your eyes and testify
you know you live to break me- don't deny
sweet sacrifice

One day I'm gonna forget your name
and one sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain

fear is only in our minds
taking over all the time
fear is only in our minds but its taking over all the time

you poor sweet innocent thing
dry your eyes and testify
and oh you love to hate me don't you, honey?
I'm your sacrifice.

[I dream in darkness
I sleep to die e
rase the silence
erase my life
our burning ashes
blacken the day
a world of nothingness
blow me away]

do you wonder why you hate?
are you still too weak to survive your mistakes?

you poor sweet innocent thing
dry your eyes and testify
you know you live to break me- don't deny
sweet sacrifice

Lyrics of the Day

This is the latest song I've fallen in love with. I have another song off of Jakalope's newer album and I don't like it very much. It goes too far to the pop side of things. Not enough of the industrial side of the equation. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this song!!!!!! It's awesome. I think I've found another one that would impair my ability to write because of the need to dance. *grin*

Jakalope- "Go Away"

Why do we cry
When there's no more goodbyes
Don't wanna get left behind
Don't wanna be the voice inside

Suicide to think of you
But I still like the pain
The consequence of losing to you
But I still play the games

But I can see what you do to me standing over tall
And foolishly I act small
I can't explain how you've got me
Can't explain how you've trapped me
So I take what I can get whatever you give me will be the company
I keep when I run run run run from defeat
Oh oh, I wonder

Why do we cry
When there's no more goodbyes
Don't wanna get left behind
Don't wanna be the voice inside

I've sacrificed my own life
Just to see you satisfied
I gave it all up for one more lie
'Til I saw your other side

I can't believe what you do to me all alone in the crowd
And you can't go back now
Oh I can see this is done
You're irresistibly wrong

So I take what I can get whatever you give me will be the company
I keep when I run run run run from defeat
Oh oh, I wonder, oh oh I wonder

Why do we cry
When there's no more goodbyes
Don't wanna get left behind
Don't wanna be the voice inside

Why do we cry
When there's no more goodbyes
Don't wanna get left behind
Don't wanna be the voice inside

Gotta go away... [repeat lots]

Why do we cry
When there's no more goodbyes
Don't wanna get left behind
Don't wanna be the voice inside

Why do we cry
When there's no more goodbyes
Don't wanna get left behind
Don't wanna be the voice inside

Song List...

Here's what I've been writing to lately:

Fight/Action/Torture Scenes or any Scene where I need Aine to be particularly violent or dominant:

• Freak on a Leash- Korn
• Pain- Three Days Grace
• Head Like a Hole- Nine Inch Nails
• Crawling in the Dark- Hoobastank
• Maneater- Nelly Furtado (This one is kinda Aine's theme song!)
• Voodoo- Godsmack
• Miss Murder- AFI
  

Angsty/Sad Scenes or any scene dealing directly with Siobhan:

• Pain- Three Days Grace
• Snow White Queen- Evanescence
• Gunnin- Hedley
• Black Black Heart- David Usher
• Comin Home- City and Colour
• Love Like Winter- AFI
• Call Me When You're Sober- Evanescence
• Bitter Pill- Clam Dandy
  

Erotic/Love Scenes:

• Oh My God- Pink
• Bella Luna- Jason Mraz
• More Than Anything- Hanson
• My Love- Justin Timberlake

Misc. Songs:

• Lips of an Angel- Hinder
• Lying is the most fun...- Panic at the Disco
• I Refuse- Aaliyah
• Red Flag- Billy Talent
  

PMS Jokes

In honor of "that time" which is rapidly approaching (*sigh* better save myself some dark chocolate, I'm gonna need it...) I'm posting some PMS jokes I found on the internet.

Ten ways to know if you have PMS:
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says "How's my driving- call 1-800-***-****."
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. You're convinced there's a God and he IS male.
8. You're counting down the days until menopause.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

Why don't elephants use tampons?
Well would you if you had to put it in with your nose???

A couple was traveling from the US to Canada by motorcycle. A border guard decided to search the bike for contraband. He appeared to be delighted when an OB tampon rolled out of the saddlebag. With great gusto he pounced upon it exclaiming, "What's this?" It only took him a few seconds to figure out what "this" was, and he stopped his search immediately and scurried away.
(I'm imagining this one and laughing so hard, given my experience with border guards...)

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a wounded mama bear seeing her little one attacked?
Well, the bear is more docile.

Why does it take four PMSing women to change a lightbulb?
CAUSE IT DOES OK?

What do elephants use as tampons?
Sheep
Why do elephants have trunks?
Because sheep don't have strings
What's the moral of this joke?
Don't wear red sweaters!

PMS in the Bible
A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of human experience could be found there.After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, "Preacher, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS [premenstrual syndrome]."The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and that he would look for it.The following week after the service, the preacher called the woman aside and said PMS is in the Bible. He showed her a passage that read, "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem."

These jokes came from the great website "Museum of Menstruation and Women's Health"

Bush

*Note: Krystal, you don't wanna read this post. Leave now. Trust me.

I found a very interesting website today. It's ImpeachBush.tv. I guess there's a couple of bills in Congress aimed at either impeaching Bush or proving that he lied about his intentions in Iraq. That's better. Maybe there's hope for America yet! Now if only we can do something about those pesky little health care and gay marriage issues I could come home. I hope they do decide to impeach him. Hell, they tried to impeach Bill Clinton over something not even half as important!

Lyrics of the Day

The video for this one is the real reason I'm posting these lyrics. It shows a megamart thing kinda like walmart and then every time it shows a product it shows the sweatshop it was made in. Pretty cool. I think it's sad that the world is that bad that an 8 year old has to go to work in a sweat shop so that her family can eat.

Rise Against- "Prayer of the Refugee"

Warm yourself by the fire, son,
And the morning will come soon.
I’ll tell you stories of a better time,
In a place that we once knew.

Before we packed our bags
And left all this behind us in the dust,
We had a place that we could call home,
And a life no one could touch.

Don’t hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don’t need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

Don’t hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don’t need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

Down!

We are the angry and the desperate,
The hungry, and the cold,
We are the ones who kept quiet,
And always did what we were told.

But we’ve been sweating while you slept so calm,
In the safety of your home.
We’ve been pulling out the nails that hold up
Everything you’ve known.

Don’t hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don’t need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

Don’t hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don’t need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

So open your eyes child,
Let’s be on our way.
Broken windows and ashes
Are guiding the way.

Keep quiet no longer,
We’ll sing through the day,
Of the lives that we’ve lost,
And the lives we’ve reclaimed.

Go!

Don’t hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don’t need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

Don’t hold me up now,
I can stand my own ground,
I don’t need your help now,
You will let me down, down, down!

Don’t hold me up…
(I don’t need your help, I’ll stand my ground)
Don’t hold me up…
(I don’t need your help)
No! No! No!
Don’t hold me up!
(I don’t need your help, I’ll stand my ground)
Don’t hold me up!
(I don’t need your help, I’ll stand my ground)
Don’t let me down, down, down, down, down!

My obituary...

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Well, I'm so glad Darth will miss me....

Lyrics of the Day

I pulled this one out of Dylan's music file. I love this song, but I can't listen to it when I'm writing. It makes me want to jump up out of my chair and dance around. *cracks up* Not only that but I can't think of a single scene (yet...) that it would fit. The chorus is great, I think that's my favorite part. Anyway...

Amanda Marshall- "Sunday Morning After"

I woke up with a killer hangover
Hope it was worth all this pain
(I'd do it all over again)
By the time the party was over
Tequila was my claim to fame
(I couldn't remember my name)

I was dancing with Jake when I last saw my keys
That was my first mistake
'Cause, what happened to me?
I look down at my arm, baby
And something's lookin' back at me
And I cannot believe it

CHORUS:
Oh my God!-- I woke up with a snake tattoo
Oh my God!-- and I think that my tongue's pierced, too
Oh my God!-- Oh my God!
It's the Sunday morning after
And baby, who the hell are you?

I remember yelling, "Hey, DJ!"
"Jack the volume, I love this song!"
(And then it all gets hazy)
And my clothes are selling on e-bay
And I don't know what I'm gonna put on
(Where were my friends to save me?)

I blacked out I came to
And it's all such a blur
Had a blast, I assume
But I'm really not sure
Exactly where am I now, baby?
Wake up and tell me your name
'Cause this is insane

CHORUS

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
My alter ego took over and took me on a fantasy ride
You can take me anywhere twice
But the second time will be to apologize

CHORUS x 2

Where am I...?, What am I...?, Who am I...?, How am I...?,
How did I...?...
2x

Phew....

So while I was browsing around on the internet waiting for Krystal to get online, you know, NOT writing... grrrr... I found a list of LESBIAN fantasy novels. LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!! *excited squeal* I was beginning to be afraid I was the only one writing this stuff. So I can relax. I mean, the market for that type of book is still limited, but not as limited as I thought, you know? Of course, the library out here doesn't have a single one of them, which sucks. There were quite a few I was interested in. Especially this series called "Tales of Emoria". The main character is a tortured soul, kind of like the main character of my book. It would have been interesting to read that author's take on the whole "broody lesbian" angle. Oh well. So I've been stuck on the same scene for days in my book. And what I've been able to write is so good I can't bring myself to take the scene out. So I don't know what to do. I can't move forward and I can't move back either. GRRRR!!! STUPID WRITERS BLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lyrics of the Day

I decided to post these lyrics because they have a very strong effect on me. Especially the last verse, the one that goes "If they could love like you and me...". I get tears in my eyes every time I hear it because I've thought that so many times. Anyway, here are today's Lyrics of the Day

Nickelback- "If Everyone Cared"

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

[Chorus:]
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing

Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
(I'm alive)

[Chorus x2]

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died
When nobody died...

[Chorus]

We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

OMG OMG OMG

Ok, so this morning I made a blog for my novel so that it'll be easier for Krystal and Barrett to read and I had to set it so everyone could read it since they're not members of the site I've got it on (as far as I know). And I got my first comment. From someone I don't know. And so now I'm a little freaked out. My heart is pounding like crazy and all kinds of scary stuff. lol But it's so exciting! Anyway, that's all for now. Just thought I'd report that.

Damn Internet...

I feel like I've been gone forever. Our internet went down and is only now back up. The good news is we've got an awesome new cable company and a bazillion more channels than we used to have. And if Dylan is using the internet, I can still surf a little bit (check my email, post on here if I had the patience to use the remote to do it letter by letter, read craftster) using the tv. It's pretty cool. Having to use the remote to do everything is a pain when I'm used to using a mouse and keyboard, but it's still pretty spiffy.
And now onto other news... Umm... Hmm... other news... Oh right! Well, I've started exercising every morning and I can feel my abs tightening up already. Which is pretty awesome. Every time I move the floor creaks so I don't do a lot. I've just started dancing until my heart rate goes up and I break a sweat, keep going for a little while, then cool down. I didn't know dancing could tighten your abs though. It's pretty cool. Now I just need to lose some fat so that those nice tight abs can be shown off! lol Plus I run up and down the stairs at least 15 times a day for one thing or another, so I'm getting awesome calf and thigh muscles. It's crazy how easily I build muscle. Pretty cool too, although I have to be careful about my arms or I'll get "burly" looking again. lmao Of course, the entire goal of the weight loss is so that once we're ready my body will be ready to get pregnant. Which will most likely ruin all of my hard work... I can't wait till it gets warmer out here so I can walk. I love working out. I know, I'm a freak. But it feels good. It gives me that high like I got when I got my tattoo, only a little less. Plus I know I'm doing something good for my body. Working out when you've got a cold sucks ass though. I can't imagine doing something more than dancing. My nose has developed this unfortunate running problem and I'd probably drown! lol Ok that was gross, but I'm in a mood this morning.
Also, I've discovered that I may well be a morning person. I love having the house to myself in the mornings after Dylan goes to work and his parents are still sleepin. It's so quiet and peaceful. And I feel so energized on the days where I've had more than 6 hours of sleep. lol Which is not today.
The writing is going well. Last Saturday I wrote 30 pages. 30 pages!!!!!!!! *little excited squeal* And then on Monday I sat down and wrote 25 pages. The past couple of days has been bad writing-wise, but I think that's because I've got this cold and I feel too foggy headed. Plus I get hung up on sex scenes. I don't know what my freaking problem is. lol So I'm going to be making a blog for my writing, posting each chapter as a blog post. Some people will get a link, a lot will not. And do you know why? Well, that's because I'm not ready for everyone to get to read my baby. lol Mostly just Krystal and Barrett and Dylan of course, although Dylan wouldn't have to read a blog to read it, all he'd have to do is pop the disk in and open it up. But the blog idea means I don't have to file transfer with Krystal every freaking time I have something new. I'd be doing that every other day at least and it's a pain in the ass! Anyway, I'm off to get my new blog together. Oh, one last thing! Dylan and I have a new couples email account. I'll be sending out an email to let people know about it soon.